


Under My Roof and Under My Skin

by P1nk_cupcak3



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Boners, Awkward Crush, Awkward Romance, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Emotional Roller Coaster, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Gay, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Introversion, Lust, M/M, Multi, Pining, Romance, Tsunderes, Unrequited Lust, odd couple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-11-26 23:33:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18186941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P1nk_cupcak3/pseuds/P1nk_cupcak3
Summary: “Seriously dude, if he is staying here you should consider kicking him the fuck out - he’s a WASTE OF SPACE!”Quiet introvert Lotor has allowed a chaotic whirlwind into his apartment. Keith isn’t the guy who’ll be easily housebroken and besotted Lotor isn’t the kind of guy who’ll break him





	1. Cigarettes and Alcohol

1.

As he heard the cupboards crash for the third time in twenty minutes Lotor tried to remember to himself why he’d ever agreed for Keith to stay here. 

He knew why. It was because Allura had begged him. His cousin had a habit of getting her own way and he had a habit of being a doormat. She’d persuaded him to have Keith share his apartment for a while on the pretext of giving her and Pidge some space to plan their wedding. Apparently the ‘delight’ of having Keith for a roommate had worn off, and probably because “untidy as fuck” wasn’t really the theme they were going for. Lotor thought that Allura should be more grateful to Keith really, she’d only met Pidge when she’d stayed over following one of Keith’s spontaneous hook ups anyway. Whatever the reason, Lotor’s precious sanctuary had since been invaded by the most untidy, pain in the arse that he knew. It had taken up residence in his box room, but the evidence of the chaos that came with him spilled out over the whole apartment. 

He heard another crash. For fucksake! He wanted to go and shout at Keith. No, at this moment he wanted to kick his arse out on the pavement, but that wasn’t the guy he was. Lotor was the guy who pushed his feelings deep down and let it eat away at his self worth a little more. He was the kind of guy that let guys like Keith and everyone else walk all over him. Picking up the cold cup of tea next to him, he decided to use it as an excuse to investigate whatever Keith had broken. At the same time he could get a refill to wash down his growing self pity with. Taking his knitted cardigan from the back of his desk chair, he pulled it over his broad shoulders like a protective shield against the anticipated horror, as he ventured out into the living room. 

The room was strewn with the evidence of Keith: inside-out black skinny jeans discarded over the arm of the sofa. A half eaten family bag of Doritos and a disposable lighter, strewn over the leather. Headphones, small change, several crushed red bull cans and a handful of receipts among other detritus on the coffee table. An ashtray overflowing with cigarette ends. A laundry list of carnage. He tried to remember what his place looked like a month ago when he was alone and happy in his self imposed solitude. He could hear Keith still clanging around in the kitchen, the distinct sound of a teaspoon hitting the sink. He took a deep breath. 

“Hey....” he said, as brightly as he could manage, walking into the room. 

Keith looked up from under his messy fringe with a cheeky grin, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips, dropping ash into the worktop. Lotor cringed inwardly at the mess. 

“Hey! Tea?” 

Lotor nodded. Keith was inconsiderate yes, but charismatic. Rather than pour another cup, Keith instead pushed his own cup into Lotor’s hands. The cup was covered with tea stains, Lotor doubted it had been washed recently - one of Keith’s more revolting habits was reusing the same cup over and over. Still this was Lotor, the guy who’d do anything to avoid confrontation. Politely feigning gratitude he took the cup and sipped from it hoping that he might have some natural immunity from whatever bacteria could be on the rim. Keith smiled, a big genuine grin, blowing smoke through his nostrils. 

“I was worried you’d hurt yourself, all the erm... crashing” Lotor said hoping desperately Keith might take the hint. Keith looked back at him slightly guiltily, 

“yeah I might need to replace one, erm, two of the mugs. I will though I promise.” 

He smiled again at Lotor, pulling a childish puppy face that Lotor wanted to find annoying, but actually found completely endearing. Keith was a very handsome guy. Wild, unruly dark hair, twinkling smile, cheeky. Lotor had always had a crush on Keith from day one. By now he was basically besotted with him. They’d met years ago when they were both much younger, though Keith it seemed never intended to grow up. Back then, Lotor was still a self-conscious architecture student, struggling with his identity and fresh out of the closet. Keith however, was a magnetic, openly bi, godlike creature in denim and leather. That creature had waltzed up to Lotor out of nowhere at the university art show. Lotor being his awkward self had flushed crimson as Keith eyed him. Keith had leaned in close and whispered a sentence that Lotor had never forgotten: “Hey beautiful, Let’s get out of here and I’ll give you something to blush about.” Lotor had been too embarrassed to take him up on the offer. Despite this unlikely knock-back, Keith had chatted to him for the whole evening. Since that night, they’d somehow remained in and out of each other’s lives - perhaps never letting Keith fuck him back then was how they’d managed to stay friends for so long. It was also probably why he let Keith take advantage of his kindness again and again. Men and women alike fawned all over Keith and he did well out of it. It’s how he got away with being such an untidy, chaotic dick of a human. He was just a bit beyond training. He wasn’t bad, just oblivious.

“Lotor...babe, I’m super grateful for being able to crash here y’know? I’m so lucky to have you” he said, nudging Lotor with a playful elbow. The use of ‘babe’ made Lotor’s heart flutter as always, and he hated himself for it. Keith smiled a handsome grin, cigarette still in his lips. “I’m off out for a bit, I’ll try be quiet when I come home” he gave Lotor a gentle slap on the shoulder as he passed. Lotor watched him leave. He was probably never going to get used to sharing with Keith, but he supposed it could be worse. 

***

The red display of his bedside clock showed 04.23 when Lotor awoke to the fumbling sound of keys in the lock. Click, click, click. Drop. Bang, click, click. 

‘Damnit Keith! So much for being quiet!’ He thought. Better let him in before he breaks something else. Grudgingly he got out of bed, the cold night air gripped him into its embrace. Shivering and cursing Keith, Lotor made his way sleepily to the front door. 

Opening the door though, He realised that Keith wasn’t alone. Propping up a drunken Keith was a young woman. Long golden hair that had been braided across her face, she had on a short pleated dress over torn fishnets and knee high biker boots. If she hadn’t been wearing the nastiest scowl as an accessory she would have been stunning. Lotor vaguely remembered meeting her before, Romelle? Either way, she looked totally pissed off. Lotor looked at her uncomfortably, realising he was basically stood there shivering in his underwear.

“This dipshit live here now?” She huffed, pushing Keith through the door towards him. It wasn’t a question. Keith landed into Lotor’s arms like an obnoxious dance partner, sagging against him, his arms around Lotor’s neck like the metaphorical millstone that he was. 

“Romelle, baby....aren’t you coming to tuck me in?” Keith drawled, his voice muffled by Lotor’s chest. Lotor looked at Romelle awkwardly, mouthing ‘I’m so sorry’ over Keith’s shoulder. Romelle rolled her eyes.

“Fuck off Keith” Romelle snorted, turning to Lotor as she smoothed out her clothes that were twisted from carrying Keith home - or more likely from being groped by Keith while she carried him home. 

“Seriously dude, if he is staying here you should consider kicking him the fuck out - he’s a WASTE OF SPACE” Romelle shouted the last words into Keith’s ear and stormed off into the darkness. 

“She loves me really man,” Keith murmured into Lotor’s skin, Lotor could feel Keith’s words vibrate against him, sweaty faced and drooling. Carefully he lifted Keith into his arms like the pathetic, drunken baby he was, carrying him to his room. 

He hadn’t been in his former box room since Keith moved in. The place was unrecognisable, having become a shrine to Keith’s untidiness. He laid Keith down on the unmade bed. Keith’s legs sagged off the edge of the mattress weighed down by his DM’s. Fuck, Lotor thought. I just want to sleep, how did I become responsible for this?! Sitting on the edge of the bed, he started to unpick the laces of the boot nearest him. Keith groaned behind him. Lotor ignored him, pulling his foot free from the boot and turning to the other foot. He suddenly felt Keith’s hands grip him from behind, leaning against his shirtless back breathing heavily into his ear. 

“Don’t stop there” Keith whispered, his hand snaked around Lotor’s waist, brushing against the front of his underwear. 

“K...Keith!” Lotor stuttered he moved to get up but Keith gripped him more tightly

“Lem....lemme show you how grateful I am” he slurred, sliding his hand under the waistband. Lotor struggled against him, blushing, irritated, but Keith wasn’t deterred. His experienced hand was suddenly all over Lotor,

“Get off! You’re fucking drunk, GET OFF” Lotor protested. His body however was much quicker to disagree, reacting quickly to Keith’s touch. 

“I just want to thank yoooooo” Keith moaned, Lotor could feel him hard against his back. 

“Jesus fuck Keith! I said NO!” Lotor somehow found his voice, at once learning there were limits to how much he would put up with from Keith. Finally freeing himself from Keith’s hand and his alcohol fuelled embrace he scrambled to his feet. He stood there, his cheeks red and hot from embarrassment, and worse a fresh boner straining the front of his boxers. 

“Fuck you Keith, I should have never let you stay.” He could hear himself shouting. Four weeks of frustration seemed to be leaking out of him. He needed out. Out of this fucking bullshit. Slamming the door behind him he went back to his room to stare at the ceiling until sunrise, irritated, alone, and horribly turned on.


	2. Dreams and Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “More tears fell from Lotor’s eyes, he couldn’t stop them. Years of pent up emotion was spilling out of him and there was nothing he could do about it.”
> 
> The reality of Keith’s presence in Lotor’s life is taking its toll. After Keith’s drunken pass at him, Lotor tortures himself over his feelings for Keith.

2.  
It was only 11am but Lotor had been hunched over his drafting board for five hours when he heard the familiar sounds of Keith’s footsteps as they punctuated the silence of his apartment. Until Keith moved in, Lotor has forgotten what ‘life’ sounded like. So often lost in his work that the rest of the world usually carried on silently without him. Keith though, was a whole distraction. Lotor’s work was suffering, he knew that. A month into Keith being here and his mind was a shambles. He looked sadly at the drawing in front of him. A design for a lounge extension for a wealthy client. When he’d been sent the brief weeks ago, he’d been so excited - a chance to flex on something with more creativity than his usual corporate jobs. He’d envisioned a beautiful split level room with a feature staircase that opened onto an ornate glass roof. It had been so perfect in his imagination, but no matter what he tried, he couldn’t get his thoughts out onto the page. This drawing was nowhere near where it needed to be and it certainly did not look like it had the five hours work on it that it should have had. The deadline for these particular plans was looming, and without it he wasn’t getting paid for sure. What a fucking mess. It was going to take a lot more concentration to get them done, and Lotor doubted that concentration was going to prevail with Keith around. 

Listening carefully, he could hear Keith in the shower. The muffled pitter patter sound of the splashes of the water cascading from the rainfall shower head was something that again he’d only noticed since Keith had been there. It turned out that he’d realised his apartment was not at all soundproofed. It really was a bit of a joke that he lived somewhere so ugly and impractical given he was an architect. He’d imagined designing his own place many times, and if he put his mind to it, he probably could just have afforded it, but all of that seemed pointless to do just for himself. Even then, in his dreams he couldn’t see himself as deserving enough.

Rising from the desk quickly, Lotor decided to seize the opportunity to get a coffee while Keith was in the shower. He laughed inwardly at how pathetic he was, hiding in his own house. How very like him. 

Still, there was plenty of time for self loathing later. He just knew that he didn’t particularly want to see Keith yet. He was still pissed off by Keith’s drunken fumbling the night before, but more so, he was pissed off that he was THIS pissed off by Keith’s drunken fumbling. What irritated him the most was that it would have been nothing to Keith - hell, he probably wouldn’t even remember it. The problem Lotor had was that he remembered everything with Keith. You stupid fucker! Lotor scolded himself. He hated that he was evidently still very much in love with Keith. For over a decade, Keith has been the only one who’d ever got under his skin, and now, having him this close was messing him up all over again. Yesterday things were somehow easier, he’d been able to convince himself that Keith was just a friend crashing. Just a house guest who got on his nerves like all of his friends did. One forgettable drunken moment later, all the old longing had been stirred up inside him again. This unrequited bullshit was probably going to destroy him, he thought sadly, making his way to the kitchen. Yep that obsessive personality of his would overthink it to the extreme, playing what had basically been nothing more than a drunken grope, on a loop, for the rest of his life.

His ‘brilliant’ plan to avoid Keith was short lived, the coffee machine was boiling typically slowly when Keith came into the kitchen. Fresh out of the shower, a towel tied lazily at his waist. Lotor glared at him under his eyelashes. He didn’t particularly want confrontation with Keith, but unusually he couldn’t hide his irritation either. Perhaps it was the wasted morning on his work that had caused this unlikely boldness.

Keith smiled at him guiltily, almost awkwardly. Water dripped from his fringe, running down his nose and falling onto his chest. Lotor followed the bead of water with his eyes as it torturously made its way down Keith’s perfect, half-naked body. In a movement that could have come from a shampoo commercial, Keith pushed the offending swatch of hair from his eyes and wiped his damp hand on the towel.

“I have such a hangover, coffee would be...nice” Keith said hopefully.

Lotor said nothing, instead grudgingly opening the cupboard nearest him to take out a second cup. The coffee machine hissed beside him as dark liquid dribbled into the jug from the filter. Annoyingly, his heart was beginning to race. All of a sudden he felt nineteen again, pathetically turned on by Keith and too impotent with fear to do anything about it. Thirty one years old and he still hadn’t gotten a grip on his emotions when it came to Keith. His feelings had lay dormant for so long, shunning every relationship that had come his way. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to lust after someone...

The thermostat on the coffee maker clicked off as the last few drops percolated to the jug, bringing Lotor back from his thoughts. He was about to pour the coffee, when Keith’s hand came out of nowhere from behind him to grip the jug. He was outrageously close. Lotor could smell the minty shower gel that Keith liked to use radiating from his damp skin. Wordlessly, Keith filled the two cups in front of Lotor as he stood behind him. As he leant forward, water dripped from Keith’s hair onto Lotor’s neck, running down his spine, making him flinch. 

“Keith, fuck, you’re dripping....” he stuttered. 

Keith replaced the jug into the cradle, behaving almost as if he hadn’t heard him. Instead he leaned in a little closer, Lotor could hear his breath beside his ear. More droplets of water slid from his hair making black spots on Lotor’s charcoal T-shirt. Keith’s hands were now either side of him, His long fingertips gripping the worktop, the silver ring on his left thumb glinted in the halogen light of the kitchen.

“I don’t like it when you are cross with me.” Keith whispered into Lotor’s ear, his voice low and raspy. “You are so special. I was drunk, and clumsy, and foolish. But I meant what I said last night, I need to find a way to thank you...I just know I have a preference for how.” 

Keith nuzzled into Lotor’s neck, his lips brushed against his earlobe. The fact that Lotor was a whole foot taller than Keith meant he could only just about reach - mostly as Lotor had a tendency to slouch. Somehow like this, Lotor felt small and powerless against Keith’s sexual confidence. Resentment of himself, Keith and the situation bubbled under the surface, rising like bile in his throat.

“Screw you, this isn’t a joke Keith,” he mumbled pathetically, his face red with embarrassment and desperately trying to sound firm. Frustrated and upset with himself, he was suddenly helpless to stop the words spilling out.

“I won’t have you treat me like some charity fuck Keith. Seriously how long have we known each other...you’re always like this. I’m just some fucking joke to you! I must be a complete cunt to let you treat me like this again and again.” he protested, surprised at how honest he was being under the circumstances. Heat rose embarrassingly through him with the combination of rage, the hot coffee and Keith’s damp body all but pressed against him, he was over warm and claustrophobic. Tears of frustration prickled behind his eyes. Was he going to cry? Fuck. If he cried in front of Keith that really would be the fucking end. He needed out of this situation before he had a full on panic attack to complete his humiliation. 

He pushed back against Keith, forcing him out of his way, coffee forgotten and abandoned on the worktop, the room spun as he rushed towards the sanctuary of his bedroom. Slamming the door behind him, he collapsed onto the bed. Tears spilled from his eyes uncontrollably as he rubbed them frantically with the back of his hands. His chest heaving with small panicked breaths. Why was he like this? This wasn’t even a thing. How could he let himself get like this over nothing? Keith wasn’t that guy, he wasn’t some kind of monster. He was just oblivious to how Lotor felt. It wasn’t as if he really owed Lotor anything. Yes he was crashing here, but they’d never agreed any rules. Their whole relationship was based on Lotor’s unrequited love for Keith, who dropped in and out of his life. He’d created some romanticised version of what ‘living with Keith’ looked like and now he was somehow surprised when it wasn’t what he’d expected. They were friends and nothing more. If he’d wanted more he should have let Keith fuck him ten years ago. Keith was charismatic and charming. He played up to his reputation as an irresistible lover. It was all an act. The silly pet names he used for Lotor, the flirty touches, it was all just part of his persona and one he used indiscriminately with almost everyone. He shouldn’t have tried to consider himself as special. No. This state he’d got himself into was all his own fault.

There was a knock at the door. Lotor sat up on the bed, sniffing, wiping his face on the bottom of his t-shirt creating a Rorschach-like pattern on the front. Please don’t look at me like this. He thought pointlessly .

“I’m coming in” As usual Keith didn’t ask permission, as usual Lotor had nothing to say. Opening the door slowly, Keith peered around the doorframe. Despite his six foot frame, Lotor looked small on the edge of his bed, his delicate features blotchy and tear stained. His eyelashes damp and his amber eyes bloodshot, Keith felt completely awful. His attempt at humour over last night’s nonsense had completely backfired and now his best friend was reduced to this. He sat on the edge of the bed beside Lotor. 

“I’m so, so sorry. I’m a fucking asshole” he said gently. “I forget how sensitive you are. I never, ever meant to hurt you like this. Never you. Christ, I never want to see you like this.”

He reached out to brush the tear soaked strands of hair from Lotor’s face. He was gentle, and ‘un-Keith’. The bolshy no-fucks-given Keith was nowhere to be seen. Another tear slid helplessly from Lotor’s eye, running down his cheek where it hung in a perfect droplet on his jawline. Keith gently smoothed the salty tear under the pad of his thumb. It was as if he was really seeing Lotor for the first time. Lotor was a hard guy to get close too. He was awkward and self isolating, but Keith knew that he was also kind and loving. He’d always been there for Keith when he’d fucked up his life on multiple occasions. When he’d run away from his problems, Lotor had always given him a sanctuary. He was only here because he’d pissed off Allura and Pidge one time too many and they’d fucked him off out of there. Lotor had taken him in without question. How many times was he going to make the same mistakes and take advantage of the few people who actually gave a shit about him in this world? 

“I don’t know how I would have survived without you Lotor.” Keith said honestly. “You’re the only constant in my life for a long time. I want to be a better person. Not the whoreish trash that I showed you last night”

More tears fell from Lotor’s eyes, he couldn’t stop them. Years of pent up emotion was spilling out of him and there was nothing he could do about it. He sniffed desperately. Panic rising within him, he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t breathe. His shoulders shook as he gasped for breath. Keith couldn’t take seeing Lotor like this anymore, He pulled him to his chest, cradling his head in his arms, hushing him.

“Please! My god, it’s okay, fuck, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Keith cried, his own heart breaking. 

“Stop pitying me!” Lotor sobbed into Keith’s chest. He wanted to pull away but at the same time, to be in Keith’s arms - this Keith, not cocky, confident Keith, was all he’d ever wanted. Keith suddenly cupped Lotor’s face turning it toward his own. He looked deeply into Lotor’s swollen eyes, holding his gaze with a look of absolute seriousness. 

“Wait, wait...I have never pitied you.” He said solemnly. His eyes flicked back and forth between Lotor’s own, searching for acknowledgement. Then in what felt like a moment of slow motion, He suddenly lent forward and kissed Lotor softly on his shocked, quivering, lips.

It was like nothing Lotor had ever experienced before. Like he’d been drugged, high on ecstasy, floating in the warmth of Keith’s kiss. He felt Keith move a hand behind his head pulling him deeper into that warmth. The soft lips he’d admired from afar for so long now gently moved against his own. It was as if someone had flicked a switch on Lotor’s much dormant libido, on auto pilot, he found himself responding to Keith, passion driving him, his own tongue exploring Keith’s mouth, hungrily. Keith’s hand moved to the side of Lotor’s face, his thumb gently stroked his earlobe, just as his tongue had in the kitchen, Lotor’s senses were in overdrive, all previous apprehension dissipated with the kiss. His pulse raced, his skin tingled, the blood rushed to his groin. He opened his eyes a little as Keith kissed him. Keith’s body was twisted awkwardly toward him, still sat on the edge of the bed. Lotor noticed that the towel at his waist had gaped a little, exposing Keith’s inner thigh temptingly. He slid a hand under the towel.

Keith twitched expectantly below his fingertips,

“Tori...?!” Keith gasped, his eyes flicking open, Lotor’s stupid pet name slipping from his lips. A name that he hadn’t heard for years. A name that no one but Keith had ever called him. The sound of it, in Keith’s breathy, urgent tone, almost stopped him cold. Lotor looked into Keith’s eyes, there was no sign of the confident Keith everyone knew, this Keith looked somehow both familiar and foreign at the same time. Keith kissed him again gently, his lips smiled against Lotor’s own. Pushing his body toward Lotor, they rolled into the embrace of the mattress. Keith’s towel now completely untied, falling from his hips as they did so. 

Keith pulled at Lotor’s drawstring, sliding a hand under his clothes, gently caressing him in ways that Lotor had only imagined in his dreams. Lotor moaned into Keith’s neck as his hands explored him. He gasped, blushing as Keith’s fingers entered him. Shamefully, it had been quite sometime since he’d been with anyone, he wasn’t going to be very open down there at all. He tried to shake off the sudden embarrassment, his old insecurities, flooding back, he hoped that Keith wouldn’t notice. 

As if he’d read Lotor’s mind, Keith slowed his pace, “Relax, Tori...you are just perfect” he whispered into Lotor’s ear. He moved his head to look into Lotor’s eyes,

“You want this, right...?” 

Lotor nodded. God he’d wanted things to be like this for so long, but he was terrified the reality wouldn’t live up to the dream. Keith smiled at him, handsome, hard and completely naked, his right hand buried under Lotor’s shorts, his fingers gently moving inside him, Lotor achingly close to coming. When he thought about it he guessed it was pretty close to the dream. 

“I want you...god, I want you so much right now” Keith moaned against his skin. The flushed head of his dick making small wet marks on Lotor’s shirt, slick with anticipation. He pulled the shirt over his head, feeling Keith grind against his skin. He reached down taking Keith gently in his palm.

“Fuck Tori I need you” Keith cried into his neck. Withdrawing his fingers and pulling Lotor’s shorts over his hips. Keith paused as he looked down at Lotor panting below him. Eyes wide, biting his lip nervously, it was a complete turn on. His white hair and pale eyes, he looked beautiful, angelic - almost virginal. His violet skin shimmered with a thin layer of sweat, he already knew he wanted to fuck him face to face. He wanted to look down on those innocent features as he made him come.

As Keith entered him, Lotor shook with pleasure. The anticipation of sex with Keith for almost a third of his life was more than made up by the reality. His senses were filled with Keith. The rest of the room, the walls, the ceiling, the city, the universe, disappeared into insignificance.


End file.
